JKP Presents: Gamescom 2012, Starring Nik the Unpronounceable: Day 3

August 20, 2012

Welcome back guys! Day 3 of Nik’s Gamescom tour is here! Click the link to get more game impressions, more tales fraught with danger, and a picture of beans for some reason. No kidding!

Oh well would you look at that, it’s day 3 already. Boy, time sure flies when you are having fun playing games right? Yeah that would be true, if you even get to play anything and not wait in line, while smelling the fart of a really gassy nerd right next to you and a cute gamer couple hugging and looking all cute and kissing, while you start to think what you have achieved in life and while playing games you realise, that that might be the reason you are single and you should just kill yourself. Then the line moves and you realise you waited an hour for a trailer you already saw on youtube.

This is what’s referred to in the business as a “callback”. You’re welcome.

Well now our spirit is broken and we can go on with our lives yay NINJAS!

So I said something about ninjas and robots yesterday right? Right. Of course I was talking about the new World of Warcraft expansion Mists of Pandaria. If you were expecting me to talk about the Metal gear game, you are out of luck and patience, as Konami has the smallest booth ever and around 8 consoles, so the line never moves, anywhere. So yeah, pandas.

Which is unexpected, because I thought I was the only person alive who was excited for a game where a cyborg ninja goes as over the top as possible and can cut anything. Also, I thought I was going crazy, because how can you not want to see that?

It´s pretty much Kung Fu Panda the game, only the lines here take forever, which is around 4 hours, but you get the longest gaming experience you can find at a con, which is about 20 min. Also Heart of the Swarm is there and lines last for about a hour.

“It’s cool dude. I’ll be a bro and let you take her out for a spin after you get finished playing with your karate bears or whatever”.

Now let’s talk a bit about Canada eh.

Ubisoft had one of the, if not the biggest, spaces rented out, so they showed a ton of stuff, mainly the new Butbut Creed, Far Shout 3, Splinter Cell and the WiiU in all its glory. I didn’t bother with Assassins Creed, or Far Cry 3 mainly because the line never ends and if you played the previous versions of those games, you probably know how they work…except the tree climbing, that is awesome, but not worth the 3 hour wait. Then we have the Rabbids and honestly, I really liked the games they showed, they were simple, but effective and fun. They were all based around moving around the tablet and for some strange reason, the motions you can make with that are very accurate, so sorry Harrison, but this is not Nintendo’s final console. Also almost everybody had a DS, not a PSP.

Looks like Harrison already knows. Check that dude out, he’s like Harrison’s long lost evil twin. Er, well, I guess it’d be long lost good twin?

At the end I waited in the Splinter Cell line, which turned out to be a live playing of the level, which was featured in the trailer, so time well spent *twitch*. The last thing Ubisoft had, was announcing Anno online, which I assume is free to play,as it looks like the original Age of Empires, but more childish…I’m not sure how to explain it, but it looks simple and the gameplay might be totally different, as I caught only the end part of the
whole thing.

So the sense I’m getting here is that these conventions are where you go to not move in a crowd, look at billboards of logos, and pose with soldiers. Our hobby is weird.

The new God of War has a multiplayer and that’s more than enough to get my attention. So I had no idea what to expect from it, but what I got was a pretty good surprise. The map we played was a capture the point map, where you capture them by pulling a switch, that is connected to the point and then you go on the point and drain it’s life energy and that gives you the favor of the gods, if that made any sense. So after you do that a few times, the monster that is chained close to a spawn location, gets oh so much angrier and destroys the nearby columns, so if you get too close, it will bash you…also the monster is a cyclops the size of a house, which is also important. Then you win the favor of the gods and they throw you a weapon of sorts that you use to kill the monster, so the team that gets to the weapon first, wins I guess….

It is the exact opposite of whatever the fuck’s going on in this picture.

The game works just like the singleplayer, so fighting with other players (8 I think) can be quite comfusing and difficult, as if you are caught in a combo or between players, you are dead pretty much. Now the only thing that bothered me was the cutscenes.When the big guy up there sends down the weapon of justice, you see that as a cutscene, which breaks the gameplay and when you pick up the weapon, it’s another cutscene, which is even longer and really pointless, as at that moment, the game is over. If they do not get somebody, that knows how to make a multiplayer experience, it´s kinda better that they get rid of it.  As fun as it is, it’s kinda lacking.

I wasn’t kidding earlier, there really are a ton of fake soldiers there for some reason, and you can have your picture taken with every single one of them.

Now it’s Capcom’s turn.
Again the gameplay line was way too long for a 10 minute try, so I went to the trailer showing area, hoping for whatever, since the line almost didn’t exist, but instead I waited there for a good hour and hoped for the best, since I had nothing better to do and that´s where the begining of the article came from. The only good part I saw was a trailer for a game called Remember Me. As far as I could tell, it’s about a girl whose memory got
wiped and she is fighting a evil company. To make things interesting, she looks like a cross between Jubilee and Rogue from the 90s, with
the enviroment looking a lot like Deus Ex:HR.

…of course, I’d rather have fake soldiers than booth babes. “Let’s see, we have a kiosk set up to look like an Umbrella Corp. outpost. What can our reps be dressed as?” “Fucking logo tank tops, who cares. That’s lunch everyone”. Way to be, Capcom.

Now to gameplay.
Resident Evil 6 will work just like 5 did, only scarier. As much as I saw other people play Devil May Cry, the enviroment changes all the time and it’s made so good, that you don´t have to care about the way Dante looks. Also I think that there is a rage button, where his clothes change colour, as does his hair and he looks like the old Dante, but don´t hold my word for it, as I am no DMC expert and I saw very little.

I want you guys to know that I re-read Nik’s article about three times wondering why in the fuck he sent us a picture of a shelf of beans and I came up empty, but I had to ponder it and now so do you.

Well that was day 3, so come back tomorrow for the epic conclusion!

Also Coke was there again:D

Wait, do Germans not have a word for “Happiness”? No, you know what, that actually explains a lot.

Use Your Keyboard to Yell at Us

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

2 comments on “JKP Presents: Gamescom 2012, Starring Nik the Unpronounceable: Day 3



    • glad you understood that Tom and just so you know, day 1, there were like 8 cans and the lsat day was just a wall of can:D


Jump Kick Punch! © 2015