This week on Jump Kick Punch, Brandon, Josh, and Zack engage each other in a series of conversations covering a startling range of sophisticated and intellectual topics in the world of modern video games. Lawsuits! Feminism! Racism! Orgyism! Yes, all the bases are covered in this highly philosophical podcast, so you’d best ready your thinking caps and smoking jackets. Oh, and SPOILER WARNING if you haven’t played Metroid: Other M and are planning on it! TOTALLY SERIOUS on that one.

Show highlights:

0:00:57 – Someone at Sprint is probably going to get sued for their new commercial that more than slightly resembles Tom’s favorite game franchise…

0:07:42 – Portal is now “recommended reading” at a major college, which leads to a discussion about other games that might make for welcome additions to a variety of courses and curriculums

0:29:10 – MAJOR SPOILERS for Metroid: Other M abound in a discussion about some new character developments for Samus Aran, which leads into a discussion about the presentation and development of female protagonists in games across the board

0:46:41 – Regarding those MAJOR SPOILERS, our boys discuss the differences (and token preferences) between Japanese developers and American developers when approaching both gameplay and narrative experiences

0:57:15 – Intermission!

0:57:51 – Someone out there in the internet thinks that a PAX Prime orgy would be a wonderful idea! You might think that they are either incorrect or gross, but the answer is that they are both

1:09:05 – Capcom has promised to never make another racist game, and it’s all because of Resident Evil 5! That’s pretty cute, the way they totally overlook their other borderline-racist games…

1:25:47 – A new Telltale game is coming? And it’s a crossover? With WHICH four franchises? What in the fuck?

1:40:18 – Listener emails! First comes a letter from Lee, inquiring about our thoughts on the rumored PSP Phone

1:56:05 – Andrew writes in to ask if we have any interesting or funny stories about our bosses or coworkers! Sure, okay. We didn’t like our jobs anyway.

STRRRRRREET FIGHTERRRRwait what do you mean ‘racist’?

Use Your Keyboard to Yell at Us

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23 comments on “JKP! Ep.37: Everyone Will Come

  1. Sarah Sep 1, 2010

    I <3 you guys.


  2. I don’t know how/if this applies to this phone commercial, but US copyright laws are fairly lenient on parody usage. Mad, SNL and countless other shows, movies, books and magazines depend on that freedom for their business. Looking at the commercial’s Pseudo Chief and Master Chief next to each other there differences. It is obviously a look-a-like, but you’d need a copyright attorney to judge if the differences are enough to escape lawsuit. I very much doubt that Samsung let that commercial out without getting assurances from their legal team that they were in the clear, or close enough that the legal fight over it wasn’t worth the effort.

    PAX is definitely not the convention I’d even think about setting up an orgy at. There are dozens other nerd themed conventions that draw better quality women, and hundreds of adult conventions that draw way better tail than any nerd convention. Its a shame to see the sordid underside of the convention scene poke its head into the sun for all to see. Getting laid at a convention isn’t difficult, assuming you try, are not a complete social retard and aren’t CHUD ugly; I’m sure that before he pulled this stunt he could have, with some extra effort, organized an orgy on-site with way more success and less internet mockery.

    Sony wants the PSP to be your one stop mobile platform. They are trying to have the PSP compete with the DS, the iPod and portable movie players, but it’s ability to do any of those are inferior to the dedicated, specialized devices. On top of that they are cannibalizing their own market because the PSP and the Walkman(which itself poorly compares to the iPod). They are trying to catch up in multiple product lines using a single product/brand name. If Sony is even a little smart they will not release a PSP phone, because it will be inferior to the industry leaders without enough of price point benefit. Given Sony’s recent history, I’m willing to bet that we’ll see a PSP phone within 9 months.


  3. Neat double posting fixing that would be awesome.


  4. badger Sep 1, 2010

    I’ve been hearing a lot of rumors about the psp phone too. I’d bet money that it’ll be announced at TGS, and be in stores this December. I think it’s a cool idea, I may buy it as long as there’s enough good games on it.


  5. After listening to the latest podcast, I realized that this article may interest some of the readers on this site.


  6. The iphone doesn’t just have garbage games. There are a ton of very good games on the iphone. Konami, Capcom, Square Enix, EA, ID, and Epic all make games, or are currently making games for the iphone. The iphone isn’t just good for beign a phone, it’s good period.


    • I can personally add that, when saying the iPhone games are largely garbage, I mean to say that they are garbage to *me*. The vast majority of them offer gameplay experiences that I would enjoy far more while holding a mouse or a controller and looking at a large TV, rather than jabbing at imaginary buttons mocked up on a touch screen. It also does not help that I rarely find myself in a position, outside of my home, where I am sitting around with time to kill. I barely even play my DS, so iPhone games have never held much allure for me from the outset.

      I can’t speak for Josh and Zack. But they hate the things you like. They hate them so much.


  7. Eric is right, there are tons of good games on the iphone. I’ll list a few of them below so that you guys can see (Josh and Zack) that they’re not all garbage. Also, when a good game does get released on the iphone, it usually costs under $10. The average price for an iphone game is actaully $3. The PSP and DS pump out their fair share of garbage too, and it usually costs $35 for it.

    Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars


    Chaos Rings

    Ace Combat XI

    Ghosts N Goblins: Gold Knights 1 & 2

    Castlevania: Encore of the Night

    Ridge Racer Accelerated

    Vampire Origins

    Zenonia & Zenonia 2

    Galaxy on Fire 1 & 2

    Castle of Magic

    Spider-Man: Total Mayhem

    Resident Evil 4

    Final Fantasy Tactics: War of the Lions

    Doom & Doom 2

    I could list a lot more good and complete games too, but I think this post is long enough as it is. The iphone gets a bad rap for only having short “kill time” games, but it has a whole lot of complete and full gaming experiences. For example, Myst, Riven, Final Fantasy 1 & 2 are all on iphone, and from what I understand it can take 30+ hours to beat any one of those games.


    • Lee, I think the main difference between iPhone gaming aficionados and people who shun the thing is the phrase “for a phone”. That Spider-man game looks okay “for a phone”. If it appeared on any other device on the planet, I would immediately throw it away, five bucks or no.

      I no not, nor do most gamers I think care about the phrase “for a phone”. They just want a game that looks and plays good regardless. “If you factor in that it costs five bucks, it appears on a device that is in no way, shape, or form designed to run graphics engines made by a company that has actively shunned any sort of games for the last two decades, and the only possible way to control the game is with a touchscreen that’s almost completely anathema to anything but menu-based RPG’s, then it’s really not that bad”.


  8. I’m going to take a wild stab, and say that because Brandon, Josh, and Zack haven’t owned an iPhone/iTouch, nor have they had an extended experience with one, they really cant grasp how many great games are on the platform/why its a valid gaming platform. I imagine if Brandon was forced to own an iPhone (he hates phones for some reason…), and he was given $50 in credit, he’d grow to like the thing. But we’re talking gun to his head “TAKE THIS AND PLAY GAMES ON IT”…

    The iPhone was what got me to put down my DS. It’s small, multifunctional, and some developers make games that are fun and engaging for as long as they need to be. It makes me wonder why the DS/PSP continually puts out shovel-ware at $20+ a pop. When Brandon says he doesn’t think he’d have the time to even play a game on the iPhone, he doesn’t realize how instantaneous the gameplay is. You could be waiting for your order at McDonalds and throw down a game of PlantsVsZombies/Peggle/Canabalt/Tilt to Live/Mirror’s Edge, get your McWhatever, and be on your way.

    Hey Eric and Lee, 1 out of 4 people on Jump Kick Punch love the damn thing (even if I don’t use it as a phone anymore). Eric/Lee, if either of you want Fruit Ninja, Robot Unicorn, or Monster Dash, send an email to the podcast and I’ll send you codes. Because haters gonna hate.


    • About the instantaneous gameplay: I spend enough of my waking life staring into glowing rectangles as it is, the last thing I would ever feel inclined to do is introduce even more of that sort of distraction into my daily routine. When I play a game I want to actually sit down and enjoy myself without other things getting in the way. Call me crazy.

      The day that I am so starved for electronic entertainment-- so terrified of a brief moment of quiet self-reflection, observation or thought-- that I whip out my iPhone for a twenty-second game of ‘Angry Birds’ while waiting for a bag of fast food is the day that I will have stopped being Brandon.

      Also, how did Lee not mention Angry Birds? Isn’t that one of the most popular things going for the iPhone right now, game-wise? (What with it being optioned for a friggin’ movie and everything, for real?) All the games listed there seem more like console or handheld games that have been misplaced or forced. I see much more merit in the games that take advantage of the full touch screen and the accelerometer, since that’s the sort of input that the device was built for.

      And I will also say rather emphatically that I do not HATE the iPhone and its vast library of games. I actually like what it’s done to the handheld market, and I like that Sony and Nintendo have both been kind of shaken up by its sales numbers. Hell, just yesterday Jobs moseyed onstage and announced that their handheld game device was doing better than the PSP and DS combined. (The validity of his numbers I’m not sure of, but I could certainly believe that.) This is just a personal thing, this distaste of mine for smart phone games, so I’m not going to start pointing fingers towards those who love what the iPhone has to offer.

      Meanwhile: look at Tom, giving away iPhone games like a blond Santa in September! Tom, you’re a good man! Everyone, Tom is a good man! HE LIKES THE THINGS THAT YOU LIKE.


  9. I’m glad Tom likes and appreciates the iphone. The iphone is something that you really can’t appreciate until after you’ve played a plethora of games on it. Once you realize that the touch screen works, and works well for most games, you’ll really start to like the device.

    Also, Josh, I stopped thinking that the iphone was good just for a phone a while back, I now think the iphone is good for a serious handheld device. Did you watch those links that I posted above (besides Spider-Man)? Seriously, watch some of those links and tell me it doesn’t look like a real gaming device. Most of those games are beautiful and well made. Spider-Man is probably the ugliest game on that list.

    And one last thing, I didn’t mention Angry Birds because it would have hurt my point. Angry Birds and Metal Gear Solid Touch are both games that are kind of gimmicky. No one would play either of those games on a big screen tv at home, Angry Birds and MGS: Touch are pick up and play for five minute games, not hardcore 20+ hour games. Angry Birds is a very good game, but it’s not a full and hardcore gaming experience.


  10. Danny Sep 2, 2010

    The iPhone is for real when it comes to being a serious gaming device. It’s leaps and bounds better than both the DS (non 3DS version), and the PSP. Take a look at what Epic is doing with the iPhone (link below). Keep in mind that the iPhone that can run the Epic engine as well as make calls, run and stream netflix movies seamlessly, record hundereds of hours of video, play youtube videos, and go online. In five years there will be no such thing as a stand alone hand held gaming device, no one wants to carry around a digital camera, mp3 player, gaming hand held, and a netbook. We want all of those things in one device, and the iPhone IS that device. Sony is wise to try to compete directly with the iPhone with their upcoming PSP Phone because multi use PDA’s are truly the future.


    • I will await anxiously the day where I can have an .mp3 player, phone, and all around game-playing media center in the palm of my hand that doesn’t have the battery life of a Game Gear, game controls that feel like I’m doing more than making mild suggestions to my character, had games that aren’t the retarded little brother of big boy titles, and doesn’t cost more than a year’s college tuition. That day is not now, however.


  11. Currently the iPhone is a lot like the Wii. Good concept, but the execution feels off, perhaps largely due to developers inability or unwillingness to fully embrace all the platform offers. All its “best” games use gimmicky controls and look rather substandard.

    With the phone market being what it is I cannot see a phone replacing a handheld gaming device. Phones improve at too quickly and companies/carriers push upgrading too much to be embraced as a serious gaming platform. My wife bought a DS light at roughly the same time I got a used gen 1 iPhone. Both systems were a bit into their life cycle, her’s more than mine. Today she still can play damn near any DS game with that same DS. I, on the other hand, need to upgrade to at least a 3Gs if I want to play the newest games. I have to be careful in updating my games because the update could make the game incompatible with my system. My iPhone is roughly 3 years old and is no longer supported. The 3G is about 2 years old and almost as unsupported. The 3Gs is one year old and I’ve heard mixed reviews about how well it scales up to iOS 4.X. For me to continue being up-to-date on my “all-in-one” mobile media device I have to spend several hundred dollars every other year, before the monthly fees get tacked on. My wife on the other hand spent about $150 three years ago and will be set for gaming until next year or later depending on how Nintendo handles the transition to the 3DS, or whatever it is called. Her platform has been stable for 6 years, and will be supported for at least a 7th. During that time she has not been required to upgrade her device(though the DSi was tempting), and she spent nothing on its monthly upkeep.

    There is the matter of storage. Good games take up lot of memory. Every game on my phone limits the number of contacts, photos and mp3s I can put on there. I only have a 4gb phone and have had to delete or not transfer over a lot of things many times. 4gb isn’t much, but I also don’t play many memory heavy games on my phone. A some point the all-in-one mobile media device forces to to make decisions that having a handheld and a smart phone wouldn’t require.

    And we cannot forget cellular network issues. The iPhone can stream Netflix and lets you download games, provided you’ve got good reception or a wi-fi connection. As the iPhone 4 showed us reception can be crippled by as little as how you hold the damn phone. My mother has a 3Gs, but unless she is somewhere with an open wi-fi connection or is fairly close to a cell tower. Any other time the phone tells her that her connectivity isn’t enough to support download speeds. If I’m near a wi-fi connection chances are I’m near a better gaming machine.

    As to the price of games, yes they are cheap, but they aren’t going to stay cheap. The cost of developing for multiple platforms(iOS, Android, Win 7, PSPhone) will drive the cost of games up due to the multiple development teams. Alternatively the releases could be staggered like Apple gaming was before Apple began using Intel processors. As soon as more people want games on their phone the prices will increase. Digital supply is infinite, but demand varies. Since the game will never need packaging or shipping their prices will likely remain less than a traditional handheld game, but if on the phone gaming takes off enough it isn’t hard to imagine $15 dollar games.

    Maybe in the future phone gaming will rule all. Drastic changes in how the phone makers and cell phone service providers do and maintain business could completely revolutionize the mobile gaming industry. However, right now on phone gaming is in its infancy and is best used instead of a book for entertainment while taking a shit.


  12. Danny Sep 3, 2010

    Ben, I understand where you’re coming from, and I actually agree with you. However, I still think that stand alone hand held gaming is doomed in a few years. Most people are stupid and will gladly buy a new gaming phone every 2 to 3 years. Hell, people are already buying a new iPhone every other year any way. My roommate has the iPhone 3GS, and he keeps telling me that he cant wait until June of next year so that he can buy the iPhone 5 because he wants to run the Unreal engine smoothly. Personally I want to buy the PSP Phone over the iPhone 5 because Sony says that it will have a physical touchpad and “full” games like God of War, Metal Gear Solid Peacewalker, and Little Big Planet. Sure, I know that I’ll probably have to buy a new incarnation of the PSP Phone somtime in the next three years, but I’m ok with that, because I was going to buy a new phone anyway in the next two to three years….and don’t forget you get a discount when you upgrade.


  13. Danny:

    I understand what you’re saying, and I almost completely agree with you. You’re about 80% correct in your observation of future handheld gaming. Sony, Microsoft, and Apple will all have phone/gaming hybrid handsets by 2015, but you’re wrong if you think that Nintendo will have a gaming phone too. Nintendo relies heavily on children for its game and hardware sales, and the last time I checked, kids don’t carry around cell phones.

    So in a nutshell, Nintendo will avoid turning their DS or Gameboy line into phones. But I do agree with you that Sony, Apple, and maybe even Microsoft will all have gaming phones by 2015. Gaming phones are the way of the future, just not for Nintendo.


  14. badger Sep 3, 2010

    Here’s an article from Gamerworld that covers some things that a lot of you have been talking about.

    September 3rd, 2010

    Strong and credible rumors have resurfaced indicating that Sony Ericsson is planning to release a PSP phone that runs the Android operating system later this year. Both Sony and Ericsson have dodged the subject, but say that “answers will come” at the 2010 Tokyo Game Show in two weeks. For now, lets analyze this subject with what we know.

    One big question we have to ask is if this an actual phone with mobile gaming on it by Sony, or if this is simply the next iteration of the PSP with a phone inside. Depending on which way they go will greatly affect the price point of the games. The average price of iPhone games is of course much lower than that for dedicated handheld consoles. Konami recently released Metal Gear Solid Peacewalker on the PSP for $39.99, whereas Rockstar sells GTA:Chinatown Wars on the iPhone for $8.99.

    The other looming question on everyone’s mind is, “How much is this thing going to cost?” Some insiders, like industry analyst Michael Pachter, have already stated that the hefty price tag hurt PSPgo sales. Can Sony find the right price point to allow a PSP phone to compete with the iPhone and 3DS?

    Not all views are negative, in fact, about sixty five percent of polling on the subject shows that consumers are attracted to the idea of a PSP phone.

    The games developers’ trade association (TIGA) is excited about the prospect and thinks that consumers will flock to the new gaming phone. Richard Wilson, CEO of TIGA, stated: “If the Sony PS phone rumor is true then it is going to be good for developers, providing another platform to work on…It confirms the increasing ‘gamification’ of society and would be entirely beneficial for the industry.”

    These rumors are actually nothing new to the gaming community. Developers and publishers have thought this for some time now. We have previously reported on rumors of a possible Sony PSP 2 with gaming controls on the front of the device and phone controls on the back. Also, it is clear that the convergence of different media devices will be a key trend over the next few years, and for the foreseeable future. An Android device with Sony’s gaming hardware and technical experience is very interesting. Andy Hartup, Deputy Editor of PSM3 Magazine has stated that: “…Sony officials have gone on record to say that the PSPgo- which the new Sony Android phone is rumored to resemble- was a test for future hardware. I’m not a gambling man, but I’d bet big that Sony is going to announce a PSP phone in the very near future.”

    It appears that as the anticipaiton for the PSP phone mounts, the question becomes not if Sony will make the PSP phone, but when, because our money is on later this holiday season.


  15. For those of you who think the iphone has nothing but garbage games, take a look at this.


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