Surprise! It may be Friday, the day that full-length episodes are released, but E3 is fucking up our Christmas. Stay tuned for our double-decker E3 episode (with a special guest!) on Monday, which is dead set to become the new release day for regular, full-length episodes. We know things have been rather shaky over the past few weeks, so thank you for your patience while we try and figure this out!

In this episode, Brandon, Tom, and Josh answer emails that address their personal “special” fighting game moves, classic literature they’d like to see adapted into God of War clones, and read some uplifting words of encouragement from a new listener! Also, Josh shares some terrible “special” stories about his friend Lee.

Also-Also: hold on to your butts as we officially broadcast our first two LISTENER VOICEMAILS!

Our questions this week:

0:03:22 – Super moves are decided upon, and then corrected for accuracy in a borderline cruel manner.

0:09:20 – A brief One Piece tangent leads into our choices for the next piece of classic literature to be mutated into a God of War clone.

0:29:13 – Dave, a new listener, shines a flickering light in the dark and makes Brandon’s efforts to wrangle this slippery retard circus worth it for a few precious moments.

0:31:36 – Lee, prepare your anus. (Also, thanks for writing!)

Quill the Rito Postman from Wind Waker says:

Caw caw. To send Jump Kick Punch a question or comment that you’d like to hear in a future podcast, you can email them at or use the convenient form located in the right-hand column, caw caw. You can also call 404-99-PUNCH to leave a voicemail message that WILL appear in a future episode, or click on the widget that also lives in the right-hand column. Thank you. Caw.

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10 comments on “JKP! Ep.25: Listener Emails, Defiled Classic Literature Edition!

  1. Thanks for reading my email guys….I’m looking forward to reading some game reviews by Tom in the future.


  2. Sarah Jun 19, 2010

    Catch-22 is a book set in the second world war, about a man name Yossarian, and his various attempts to get discharged from his post as a bomber pilot. It might actually make a good video game tho, there’s flying, fighting, outwitting superior offices, whores, lots of different locations, crazy npcs, and at the end a whore with a knife and a boxing chaplain.


  3. I second what Sarah said and also nominate The Crucible. It would be like Left for Dead and Pheonix Wright with witches. You know how we feel about witches.


  4. Count of Monte Cristo needs the video game treatment, as the sequel(prequel?) to Dante’s Inferno.
    Start is with an unskippable 10 introducing villains and their plan to get Dantes arrested for their blasphemy. Then a cut scene, with QTE, of Dantes getting arrested.
    At this point Dantes promises his soul if he could only have his revenge. An angel appears and gives Dantes the location of a great treasure, and magical set of dueling pistols and rapier. The fight to freedom is the tutorial ends after a boss battle with the demonically powered Warden
    You fight indigenous people to claim the treasure the angel told you of. Then you fight through several cities to find things that prove Dantes innocence, and viscously murdering those who had you arrested, mix of Devil May Cry and Assassins Creed type play. Enemies range from normal people to demonically empowered super bosses.
    The final boss is Napoleon Bonaparte restored to power and blessed by the Pope, who is revealed to work for the demons, to stop Dantes before Dantes brings about the end times.

    Part 3 of the Dante’s Inferno Trilogy would star Dante Hicks and his fight against the Quick Stop, which has been possessed and wants to devour all of New Jersey.

    Josh, way to give classy responses/rebuttals to Lee’s e-mail, I’d have expected way more trash talking from you.


    • I do that enough on my own time. Remind me to tell you about the time I tried to bait him into admitting wife murder.


  5. emily Jun 22, 2010

    Josh, do you realize that you enthuse about accepting racist emails and then proceed to propose an adaptation of Huck Finn? I don’t know if it would make it better or worse if that were intentional.


    Vis-a-vis lit=>games, I could see an RPG-style game of Nineteen Eighty-Four. The main problem would be that the guy doesn’t win, so to speak, at the end, so it would require some departure from canon.

    Next listener-email question: what video game would you wish on your worst enemy?

    Lastly, Brandon, I’m still waiting on my catchy, pun-personalized feature title.


  6. Billy Jul 2, 2010

    I think one of my super moves would involve some sort of slam and then a curb stomp. >:)


  7. Billy Jul 2, 2010

    A quick doodle of Tom’s super (note my poor drawing skills):


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